People's behavior has for a long time baffled me. It is why I studied psychology and why someday I will continue on in that study. My own behavior baffles me. I won't lie to you there. If I could understand why I do some things, my life would be much easier. I also cannot lie to you on the other side of that and say that if I could understand why other people behave the way they do, it would help. I cannot say my life would be easier because it probably would not. It would would hurt if I knew why but it may help me get WHY! There is a deep, dark part of me that thinks if I knew why that I MAY be able to fix it but I am probably the only one out there with that issue, right? Anyone? Just me? sigh...OR that I could reason with that said person about how they are acting and how its affecting me/hurting me....then they would see the light and everything would be awesome right after the commercial break...or a good cry?
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Lately God has asked me,
Two roads? I think I offer just one though....
And why are you sorry you can only pick one?
And why are you taking so long to pick one?
I have already chosen Jesus. Please do not be confused! He is my rock!Without Him, I am nothing!
My 'roads' lately have been people, relationships. I love people. I love to be loved and accepted and it hurts me when I am not. There I said it. I admit it. I love to be loved. I like to be accepted... for me, in my weaknesses and my brokenness and all my shortcomings. I love relationships. I love the give AND the take....God help me. I do like the two way street theory about a relationship! And I am weary of being made to feel awful for wanting to feel wanted in the relationship....I mean who doesn't, right? I like to be pursued! We all do! We are wired by God for that! It doesn't matter if its a mother/daughter relationship, friendship, a sibling or whoever it may be!
1 John 4:19 says that We love because God first loved us.
Romans 5:8 says that Christ died for us to show His love for us
Gen 1:27 says that we are made in God's image.
So I cannot be too far off to feel that I am wired for love and connection. I am wired for relationship. I have heard messages on it time and time again. So WHY am I standing here behaving like its a hard choice? Why do we battle this? We ARE worthy of a give AND TAKE!! It is OK to expect something out of a relationship that you are giving IN to! It is OK to ask for your needs to be taken care of.
Yes, Jesus should meet our needs. I do not want to discount that either. God is everything. He is my everything.
What I am coming to is that I am a child of God...not a doormat.
I am a child of God that may be a friend, a sister, a daughter, a ........
and slowly God is asking me
Two roads? No, just one....mine.
Travel both? No, just mine. Your relationships should look like mine and yours.
Why are you taking so long to think it through!? You are fearfully and wonderfully made! If some one does not want your time, I do! (psalm 139:14) He says I will never leave you, forsake you...(Heb 13:5) and you are my friend!! (John 15:14)
Why is realizing you are worth more hard? :) I think that in the end though, when God has perfected it...it will be worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment